


bye babe

by kuntens



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Smoking, mentioned cheating, renyuk are the power friendship fight me on this, xuxi is a cute nerd ok all he wants to do is to make marvel references and live his best life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-01-14 13:57:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18477634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuntens/pseuds/kuntens
Summary: yukhei used to think he's over his high school boyfriend until he showed up in yukhei's life all over again.(yukhei x ten, college!au)





	bye babe

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably one of the fics i had the most fun writing ugh i love yukhei
> 
> there's a kuntencas love triangle or it seems like there is but it's not really like that trust me- also college aus really are not my speed but i,, tried ok don't judge me now

 

Life lesson number one, don’t ever listen to what people say you _can’t._

  


Yukhei’s been the kid that sleeps at the very back of the classroom yet aces all the tests through all his school life and yet, he was always told he wouldn’t get anywhere in life just because he had a knack for falling asleep at any condition and an interesting social life- oh and he was gay, so bonus points there. It took a bit long, Yukhei had to try three times but he’s finally here at the university he always wanted to be at. It’s his dream school, if that’s the term.

  


And Yukhei is late to class. Again.

  


He hates doing this, he really does but Yukhei can’t settle for sleep less than seven hours and he can’t sleep until late at night, so it’s quite the hardship there. He slept at 3 a.m. last night for an example and he has an 8 a.m. class, which he’s running to right now with books and pens almost falling out of his arms. His clothes are the same ones he wore yesterday, his hair is a black mess sticking from everywhere, his glasses are on the tip of his nose since he didn’t have time to wear his lenses- Yukhei looks like shit, in other words. _If I run into someone, this is going to be a full cliché teen movie._

  


Damn his mouth, Yukhei does.

  


One second he’s turning from the corner and the other he crashes into someone, falling right onto his butt and dropping his books everywhere around. His glasses pull a very Velma from Scooby Doo move on him and also fall, now Yukhei is practically blind.

  


“You might need this,” says a quiet voice and the owner of it puts something in the hand Yukhei extends. It’s his glasses, thank every deity in existence.

  


Yukhei places them back again with a grateful smile and lifts his chin up. “Thank you!”

  


A soft smile accompanied by two dimples on the sides and warm eyes greets him. Qian Kun from senior year, Music major- of course Yukhei knows him. Kun is an amazing singer known all around the campus for his self-produced songs and the many contests he’s won and he’s an incredibly humble person on top of that. Needless to say, Yukhei is a bit of a fanboy. Just a bit.

  


“You seemed like you’re hurrying?” Kun crouches down to help Yukhei with his books and Yukhei of _course_ does not blush, why would he ever blush?

  


“I’m late.” Yukhei checks his watch once more and swears quietly. He definitely is late by this point.

  


Kun gives a knowing smile. “Could it be Statistics at Hall 501, maybe?”

  


Yukhei blinks, dumbfounded. “Yes..?”

  


“Then relax.” Kun hands Yukhei the last of his books and their hands brush slightly. “Professor Zhao isn’t present today- won’t be for the next few weeks, actually.”

  


Yukhei still doesn’t feel better. “How do you know that, you’re a music major... and if class was dismissed, wouldn’t I get emailed?”

  


“It’s not.” Kun offers Yukhei a hand to help him stand. “Someone is substituting for Professor and that someone happens to be my friend.”

  


While he stands up, Yukhei’s worry comes back as strong as before. “Then I should-”

  


“Oh god, relax…?” It takes a while to notice but Kun stopped just because he doesn’t know Yukhei’s name.

  


“Yukhei. Wong Yukhei. Computer Science.”

  


“Oh, you’re from Hong Kong?” Kun smiles- and those dimples! “I’m Qian Kun. Music.”

  


Yukhei has to bite his lip to not say _I already know you_.

  


“Alright, Yukhei, that someone –Li Yongqin, the name- is late for today, also. So no worries. You’re fine.” Kun pats Yukhei’s shoulder gently.

  


The relief that washes over Yukhei like a tide is unexplainable. “Oh… thank god. I should still head there, though.”

  


“See you around?” Kun asks and Yukhei wonders for a moment just how many people he says this to in one day, but it’s obvious he’s genuine. Though Yukhei _is_ bad at reading people.

  


“Why not?”

  


Kun nods, sliding past Yukhei quickly. “Alright, see you Yukhei from Computer Science!”

  


Yukhei is left no time to say anything back, so he picks his bag up and begins walking towards the hall again, this time slower.

  


Once he’s settled in the back of the class –Yukhei’s good at Statistics, he doesn’t have to even think to do it so he can just sit there and do whatever he wants- he gets his phone and earphones out. A second later he’s on Youtube, already scrolling to his favourite channel.

  


Yukhei _is_ a fanboy, that least is sure. Recently he’s been following an amateur group on Youtube called _Rainbow V_ , and the members are all from his university so that’s a plus. Kun is also a part of them, even though some of the guys go by stage names and wear masks –Yukhei has no idea why-, Yukhei knows the ones that do it openly deep in his heart. But his favourite is one of the dancers that goes by only a number- 96. Some say it’s his birth year, some say it’s something else, Yukhei simply doesn’t care. He admires the way 96 moves; Yukhei has never seen anyone dance this well, ever. 96 doesn’t only hear the music but rather _feels_ it, as if the melody runs in his veins. It’s hard not to get amazed at.

  


That’s what he does always when he gets bored in class, pulling his phone out and watching 96’s videos for god knows how many times. It’s as if he’s obsessed, Yukhei deep down knows it’s unhealthy but… 96 reminds him of _someone_ , someone that hurt Yukhei so bad and someone Yukhei still misses terribly. It’s weak of him to be still missing that guy, but Yukhei does. He can’t get over his ex.

  


Ten wasn’t just an ex though, Yukhei _loved_ him.

  


Yukhei knew he should not have gotten too attached. Ten was known as the guy who probably dated half of the school and Yukhei was the tall nerd that no one ever spared a second stare to. All his friends warned Yukhei that he should not get together with Ten, that Ten was probably pulling a trick or something… _You look above average Yukhei but you’re not Ten’s type, he wouldn’t ever look at you that way_.

  


Well. Little did they know Yukhei was going to have an entire change over the summer he first dated Ten. Yukhei grew taller and put on some weight, some muscle and when he came back to school Ten was proudly holding Yukhei’s hand, flipping the finger at whoever that told Yukhei so. Of course Yukhei did tell Ten all those stuff and Ten hated how people said those. He helped Yukhei’s confidence so much during the year they dated.

  


Then he left and broke Yukhei.

  


Yukhei shakes his head, digging his nails into his thigh over the jeans- why is he even thinking of this now? Does Yukhei have a wish to get himself all emotional during class in middle of about 100 people? He’s already hugging himself with an arm and his eyes burn wet. _Almost five years. Five years and I’m still like this._

  


He wipes the tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie, nibbling onto his bottom lip. Yukhei needs to distract himself, that’s for sure. He couldn’t focus on 96’s dance like this even if he tried to, so he takes out his textbook and flips to the page they were last on. Yukhei does maths when he’s stressed, yes, a good habit- maybe the only good one he has. He keeps scribbling onto the book, brows forming a straight line over his large eyes and wrinkles appearing on his forehead as he focuses.

  


Yukhei manages to distract himself enough and get unnecessarily petty about a single math problem, that until the substitute walks in.

  


Not to get dramatic or cliché, but all the air gets sucked out of Yukhei’s lungs at the exact second. He has to be daydreaming, maybe hallucinating, this is why he shouldn’t have thought about Ten before- because the substitute is no one other than his dearest ex-boyfriend.

  


Yukhei knows this small frame and wide smile so deep in his heart that it hurts like shit to see it again. Ten doesn’t look any different from how he did five years ago, he has grown though. He’s much more mature and the simple white shirt and black trousers on him help that a lot, too. Just as confident as before, Ten steps into middle of the room and addresses himself.

  


“Hello, everyone!” His Chinese is less accented now, Yukhei notices. No surprise considering the ambitious worker he is. “I’m Li Yongqin, I’m doing a PhD under Professor Zhao and he asked me to substitute for him for a little while. I may not be the best teacher but I sure will try my best.”

  


How could Yukhei forget that Ten’s Chinese name was that? He should have understood when Kun told him but no, of course Yukhei’s idiot ass could not. He really is dumb, maybe. More importantly, what is he going to do now? If Ten sees him Yukhei won’t hear the end of this. He doesn’t want Ten to notice him or try to talk to him or just exist in the same room but how much of a choice does he have now? He leaned in to rest his arms on the desk, then places his chin on top of his folded arms hoping to get as small as possible. Maybe Ten wouldn’t see him now.

  


Of course karma is a bitch and proves Yukhei wrong once again. Ten’s eyes find Yukhei against all odds and his bright smile alters for a moment that was too short for others to catch on but for Yukhei it takes more than just a moment- it takes years. Centuries.

  


By the time class ends, Yukhei is already having trouble breathing and needs fresh air so badly. He stands up as soon as he can –not like he listened to anything Ten tried to teach, he could not focus- and makes a go for the exit. It’s close but still too far, Yukhei doesn’t know if he’ll reach there before Ten notices him leaving.

  


Yukhei must have some _really_ bad luck today.

  


“Xuxi!” Yukhei’s stomach drops. No one has called him that name in ages. “Xuxi, wait!”

  


Yukhei does wait. He doesn’t know why and he knows he doesn’t want to, but he does. “Why?”

  


“Because I-” Ten rushes over, grabbing Yukhei’s arm to force him to turn around once everyone has left. “-want to talk.”

  


“There’s nothing to talk,” Yukhei blurts out dry.

  


Ten tilts his head to a side, examining Yukhei from head to toe as his brows knitted together. “You’ve grown so much.”

  


Yukhei admits he has. He lost the baby weight and started working out more in the last couple of years, so he really has grown. “What are you, my fifty year old auntie?”

  


“Can’t I compliment you?” Ten sighs, rubbing at his eye.

  


_Is he serious right now?_ “It’s kind of a dick move after all we had.”

  


“That’s exactly why I’m trying to do it,” Ten says as he looks up to meet Yukhei’s gaze. “For the sake of-”

  


Yukhei lifts a hand up in the air to cut Ten off. “Look, I have a class to go and I won’t be late to it because I listened to your bullshit, full offense.”

  


Ten shakes his head violently, hand balling into a fist. “Can’t you just-”

  


“I have no patience or time.” Yukhei doesn’t say he’s sorry. He isn’t.

  


_As if you weren’t the one almost crying over him half an hour ago._

  


Ten tries to speak again but it gets lost in the air once Yukhei spins around, making the most out of his long legs and heads out the class.

  


The hall is crowded and since this day is eager to go against Yukhei in every way possible, he keeps seeing couples everywhere, _everywhere_. All he wants is being alone by this point- good thing Yukhei lied, right? He doesn’t have a class until 1 pm. In fact, he’s going back to the dorm right now.

  


Yukhei’s roommate is there, thank god –he’s not just Yukhei’s roommate but also his best friend there. Renjun is on the couch lying on his stomach, his cheek puff because of the air he’s holding there as he stares at his phone, probably reading a webtoon. He drops it as soon as he notices Yukhei and the clearly sad face he let out once he stepped into the room, sitting up.

  


“Whose ass do I need to kick?” Renjun asks as he sits with his legs curled under him, looking at Yukhei with forehead creasing in worry.

  


Yukhei sinks onto the couch next to Renjun. “The substitute for Statistics.”

  


“The hell did he do?”

  


“Nothing,” Yukhei says as he shrugs and hugs his knees to himself. “Except that he just happens to be my high school boyfriend that I broke up with because I learned that he was cheating on me at the university he went while I waited for him back at our hometown. No big deal, really.”

  


Renjun’s shoulders slump. “Oh, Yukhei… I’m sorry you have terrible taste in men.”

  


Yukhei rolls his eyes as he snorts- Renjun’s sense of humour is one of a kind, but it always works. “Thanks, man.”

  


“If it makes you feel better, I also have terrible taste in men.” Renjun elbows Yukhei’s side casually- it’s no secret to Yukhei that his roommate also happens to be very much homosexual. In fact, it’s how they ended up staying together. Renjun’s ex-roommate that was one of those ‘straight frat bros’ was uncomfortable staying with a gay dude, and agreed to change roommates with Yukhei who said he was okay with it without outing himself. Renjun was more thankful than he could ever state in his words.

  


“Aw, another thing we can bond over,” Yukhei chuckles, throwing an arm around his very much smaller in size best friend.

  


Renjun nods. “Damn straight. I went to high school in Korea, you know, and I dated this guy Jaemin for two years. Once I told him I’ll be leaving at the end of the term because I want to go to university at here, he said he’d be okay with a long distance relationship and that he’d wait for me forever, all that bullshit. You know what happened? Two weeks later I caught him making out with Jeno, one of my fucking best friends.”

  


Yukhei turns around, crushing Renjun in one of his usual tight hugs. “I’m sorry, dude… you didn’t deserve that.”

  


“Well, yeah, but now I’m very much single and happy.” Renjun seems to be uncomfortable hugging this tight but he lets Yukhei do, anyway. “Jaemin was freaking clingy, it’s good not having someone watch you like your shadow every second.”

  


Yukhei decides not to mention that he and Ten used to be just like that.

  


“I know how _just_ to cheer you up,” Renjun says once he’s out of Yukhei’s arms and a large grin invades his face.

  


Yukhei also smiles brightly. “Is it what I’m thinking?”

  


They say it together at the same time with soft smiles. “ _Disney movie marathon!_ ”

  


It’s not until Renjun and Yukhei are laying down together with a fluffy blanket on top of them and a large ice cream container –strawberry and chocolate, of course, the god tier flavours- between them while _Lion King_ is playing on the TV that the tight feeling in Yukhei’s chest finally fades. Renjun has a calming aura and listening to his sarcastic commentary about movies makes Yukhei feel so much better.

  


“Maybe I should try lifting you up like that one day,” Yukhei, 185, jokes at Renjun, 170 barely, as the famous scene plays.

  


Renjun has to look up to glare at him. “If you want to be choked to death, go ahead.”

  


“Can you even reach my neck?”

  


“Yes, after I kick you in the balls.”

  


Yukhei chuckles, relaxing with the knowledge that even if he loses about just everything, his best friend is always going to be there with his constant violent threats and ice cream treats.

  


Maybe Yukhei does love Renjun for his sweet tooth, to some extent.

  


Yukhei is thankful that he didn’t have a Statistics class for the rest of the week –he would have skipped it if he did- so it went peacefully without seeing _You-Know-Who_. He has to talk to Ten one day, Yukhei’s aware of that least but he is going to make it be as late as it can. How can you even go have a casual talk with the boyfriend you broke up with because he cheated on you?

  


Today Yukhei is out of his ‘pathetic state of despair’ as Renjun calls it, he took a shower and wore something clean after five days and it feels _good_. It’s not because Yukhei magically decided to say ‘fuck it’ and stroll into Ten’s class with shades and Toxic by Britney Spears playing in the background, but because he has a date- or, to put it out clearer, it’s not a date but Yukhei likes to think so.

  


Qian Kun actually happened to remember Yukhei’s existence, how even? To be fair Yukhei isn’t his skinny twink looking nerd self from freshman year in high school, but he isn’t exactly the most popular guy around the block either. So, for someone like Kun who is known by the entire school to remember Yukhei and ask him out – _ask him out!_ \- is unbelievable. Yukhei has to pinch his thigh multiple times as he gets out of the dorm to take the bus, just to make sure he’s not dreaming.

  


Yukhei _might_ have a tiny crush on Kun. Perhaps.

  


But it’s still too soon to say anything and a relationship is the last thing Yukhei is looking forward to these days. He’s not about to jump into the arms of the first guy who looks at him for more than two seconds. So, Yukhei’s going to keep it in for a bit longer.

  


Yukhei’s heart skips a single beat once he’s in front of the large coffee shop Kun sent the location of. The sign reads _Vision_ , and Yukhei wonders if he’s about to step into some science fiction inspired theme café, thank god it’s not. It’s a regular coffee shop- not that Yukhei has a dislike for science fiction but Renjun has dragged him to enough Star Wars themed places to drink alien piss disguised as _baijiu_ , then have terrible hangovers.

  


_Enough memories_ , Yukhei muses as he steps inside further, eyes searching for the somewhat familiar face.

  


“Yukhei!” Kun calls out from a table nearby, waving at Yukhei with excitement. “Over here!”

  


Disappointment pits inside Yukhei’s stomach like acid once he sees the other three guys sitting with Kun, but he buries it with ease. “Hello everyone,” Yukhei says with a smile as he takes one of the two empty chairs.

  


Kun gives Yukhei’s shoulder a light pat. “Hey there. We didn’t order yet because we’re waiting for _someone_ to come back from peeing, so you have time to choose your order.”

  


“To be fair,” says one of the other guys sitting around –the tall one with golden spectacles surrounding a sharp glare. “This place has a lot of different coffee options but most of them are shit, excuse my wording.”

  


The shorter one with fluffy brown hair rolls his eyes. “ _Meine güte_ , excuse Sicheng. He’s always like this, hating everyone and their mothers.”

  


“And that’s Yangyang,” Sicheng raises a brow. “Who can’t stop throwing in random German in sentences.”

  


“I _grew_ up there!” Yangyang exclaims. “And I moved here last year, give me that least!”

  


The one with raven black hair sighs across the table, reaching to shake Yukhei’s hand. “Wong Kunhang, Engineering, and very sorry on behalf of those idiots.”

  


Yukhei chuckles. “Hey, we share a surname. Wong Yukhei, Computer Science.”

  


“We’re not related, right?” Kunhang asks as Yangyang and Sicheng carry on arguing. “It could be cool.”

  


“My roommate is also a Huang but we’re not related, so we might not be.” Yukhei shrugs, settling back in his chair.

  


The next moment goes on with the constant arguing of Sicheng and Yangyang with Kunhang pinching the bridge of his nose on the side.

  


Kun rests his elbow on the back of Yukhei’s chair, leaning close to his ear. “I feel like I should apologize for making you stand them.”

  


“It’s okay,” Yukhei smiles. “This is basically me and Renjun except our grumpy one is the short one. Nothing I’m not used to.”

  


“Is that your roommate?”

  


“Yeah, the guy who yelled ‘you need to go out and socialize you nerd ass’ at the back when you called me.” Yukhei cringes as he remembers the hurtfully true accusation Renjun made.

  


Kun chuckles, shaking his head. “He sounds like a handful.”

  


“I’ve seen worse.”

  


Kun is about to speak when someone who comes to the table gets his attention. “Do you have the bladder of an elephant?”

  


Yukhei’s heart drops. _Why him, out of all people?_

  


“The line was too long.” Ten’s gaze lingers on Yukhei for a split second, short enough to go unnoticed but long enough for Yukhei’s stomach to twist- Yukhei would _always_ notice Ten. “Not my fault you wanted us to get to the most crowded place in the city.”

  


Kun rolls his eyes. “I wanted Yukhei to be able to find us easily since I couldn’t go pick him up, okay?”

  


Ten falls silent as he sits down.

  


“Did you two meet?” Kun doesn’t seem to notice the awkward tension between them.

  


“Yeah, we-”

  


Yukhei cuts Ten off sharply. “-we did. I was in the class he substituted for.”

  


Ten’s brows knit together, he wants to say something again but he has to stay silent once Kun talks. “Oh, right, I forgot! How was he?”

  


“Good,” Yukhei says simply with a shrug. “I don’t pay much attention to that class, though. It’s my best one.”

  


“I always said you should be a teacher Tennie,” Kun sounds victorious. “Now I have proof.”

  


Ten rolls his eyes. “I’m bad with kids.”

  


“No, you’re not! Am I wrong, Yukhei?” Kun turns to look at Yukhei in expectation.

  


Thank god the waiter comes to take orders, and saves Yukhei from the agony of having to speak up.

  


Things get awkward again once Ten and Yukhei order the exact same thing, though- dark chocolate mochas. Kun laughs and Yangyang says it’s destiny- Yukhei bites his lip to not say that it was what they always drank together on dates, except when they were studying together and straight up drank black coffee.

  


Why did Ten have to come back to Yukhei’s life again and burn everything he tried so hard to their ashes? It’s taken long enough for Yukhei to get over him. Hell, he’s barely starting to feel he’s ready to like someone again but as soon as he is Ten comes back rolling, and Yukhei is at square one again- square _minus_ one.

  


Yukhei still tries his best to enjoy the time here though. The guys except Sicheng are all talkative and are at ease to be around. Yangyang is energetic and his humour makes Yukhei choke on his coffee from laughing on more than one occasion, especially when he makes it clear that he’s a History major and makes historical jokes. Kunhang shares a lot of interests with Yukhei and they promise to talk about that stuff sometime else- Kun claims that quantum physics makes his head ache. Sicheng is admirably smart, he says the most meaningful stuff and his stand against capitalism is sure to leave one’s mouth hanging.

  


Kun is the one that makes Yukhei feel the best, though. He’s nice and has just enough sarcasm, and knows how to include Yukhei in the conversation. The way he’s so casually affective does _things_ to Yukhei’s poor heart and it’s quite awkward while his ex is standing there on the other side of the table.

  


Then, Kun drops the actual bomb.

  


“You’ve got to be kidding me,” is all Yukhei can say. “You guys are Rainbow V?”

  


“Hell yeah,” Kunhang grins. “How didn’t you notice? I always show my face. It’s not the thing with Yangyang and Sicheng though.”

  


Yukhei has to give them props. “I never would’ve thought Yangyang would be a rapper.”

  


“I know, right?” Yangyang laughs, throwing his head back. “And Sicheng dances quite well for a guy that sits like someone shoved an entire chair up his _arsch._ ”

  


Sicheng glares at him. “I can understand some of your German words, you know? You can stop showing it off.”

  


“I’m not showing off!”

  


“I speak _five_ languages but I don’t do that, do I?”

  


Kun blinks in confusion. “Wait, what? Five?”

  


“Sichuan, Mandarin, English, Korean, Japanese,” Sicheng counts in a hurry. “My ex was Japanese. I don’t miss him at all.”

  


Kunhang seems curious. “Didn’t know you have an ex.”

  


“Everyone has one shitty ex,” Sicheng says as he looks for someone to put the attention on. “Right, Yukhei?”

  


Yukhei would laugh if the situation wasn’t so… tragic.

  


But Yukhei isn’t about to miss out on the chance to talk shit about Ten into his face. “Yes. I have one myself.”

  


“Oh?” Kun looks at Yukhei, eyes wide with a mischievous spark. “Do tell.”

  


Yukhei can’t believe he’s about to tell about his ex -that’s currently sitting across- to the guy he likes now. “We dated back in high school. He was two years my senior and left to go to university while we were still together. We tried the whole long distance relationship thing but it didn’t… work.”

  


Yangyang nods solemnly. “It’s hard, I get you.”

  


“It’s not… that.” Why’s it so hard to say? “He cheated on me. I didn’t see myself, but some friends told me he did… with enough proof.”

  


Ten jolts his head up, eyes wide in horror- why that, even? His lips part as if he’s about to speak but nothing comes out.

  


Sicheng pulls an understanding face. “That’s rough, buddy.”

  


“You didn’t just quote the Last Airbender.” Yangyang’s mouth hangs open.

  


Ten sits straighter as he finally gains the courage to say a word to Yukhei. “And you didn’t even ask him if it’s correct?”

  


Yukhei’s fist clenches under the table. “ _No_. There was no need. Even if it was a false accusation, I wouldn’t be able to trust him again. There was no point at staying.”

  


“But it hurt you both,” Ten says sharply.

  


_How dare he say that? How…?_ “I was clearly the one hurt more. He carried on with his life while I was at the same damn school I met him, unable to forget.”

  


Ten shakes his head, lashes fluttering as he let out an exhale. “How- how do you know he did? You never went and asked him.”

  


“Why the hell would I go ask the guy that cheated on me how he feels?” Yukhei speaks harsher than he wants to, but he can’t stop. His heart burns so bad, it’s just letting out all the terrible feelings of years. “He hurt me enough, right?”

  


“Maybe- maybe he…” Ten stops, swallowing thickly. “…well, it’s not my call to make.”

  


Yukhei leans back, finally relieved. _It’s not. It’s not after how fucking much you hurt me._ He really doesn’t want to see Ten’s face for a second more. He still waits a few minutes just so the guys will stay unsuspecting.

  


He pretends to check his watch, not even seeing the time as he fumes with anger. “Ah, sorry you guys, I have to go now.”

  


Yangyang looks up sadly. “Just yet? But we were having fun.”

  


“Yeah,” Yukhei lies with ease, a forced smile on his lips. “We’ll have to continue later. I have work to finish.”

  


Out of the blue, Sicheng pushes his chair back and stands up. “I’ll come along. I stay at the dorms too, we can go together instead of alone.”

  


All Yukhei wants is to be left fucking _alone_ but he can’t find an excuse to refuse Sicheng. He has to wait tapping his foot onto the ground as Sicheng takes his coat -the autumn weather isn’t the hottest. Ten avoids Yukhei’s gaze at all costs, instead staring at his mocha as if it’s a damn textbook.

  


A ragged breath leaves Yukhei’s lips once they step outside and the wind hits them. Sicheng seems unbothered while Yukhei wraps himself in his leather jacket, he simply takes a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and a lighter.

  


“Do you smoke?” Sicheng offers Yukhei the package as he places a cigarette between his lips, then lights it.

  


Yukhei winces as a tail of smoke hits his face. “Nope.”

  


Sicheng doesn’t comment on it and tucks the package in his pocket again. “I know you took the bus here but do you mind if we walk back? The campus isn’t too far away and I wanna stretch my legs- the others can’t catch up to me. Short legs.”

  


Yukhei chuckles- he’s briefly taller than Sicheng, so their leg lengths are a match. “Sure. I have to exercise more than I do, anyway. I’ve been kind of binge eating.” _That’s how teenage girls deal with heartbreak, it should have worked on me too._

  


“Good,” Sicheng puffs out some smoke, throwing ash away as he shakes the cigarette between his fingers. “There’s something I want to talk about, also.”

  


“Oh?” The cool air makes Yukhei numb enough to not immediately grasp the meaning of it.

  


Sicheng still stares out to the road. “That ex you talked about was Ten, right?”

  


Yukhei stumbles, almost falling over- if only Sicheng didn’t grab his arm with Spiderman level reflexes. “What… how-“

  


“Well,” Sicheng smiles knowingly as he helps Yukhei stand. “I’m a Psychology major. It’s _literally_ my job. You and Ten gave me so many clear signs that you two know each other and Ten’s body language was so defensive during that talk. You two were like open books.”

  


Yukhei sighs. “Are all Psychology majors like this? It’s like… reading minds.”

  


“Why do you think I’m doing this? It’s so cool knowing what people are thinking.”

  


“Okay Professor X,” Yukhei rolls his eyes. “Yes, Ten and I used to date. But please don’t tell the others? I don’t want them to know.”

  


“Why even?” Sicheng furrows his brows. “They didn’t judge you for being gay, they wouldn’t mind having dated a friend.”

  


It hits Yukhei only then. They really made no comment about Yukhei’s sexuality- and how could Yukhei even spill it that easily? He’s so used to pretending to be straight around people for safety that it scares him how he accidentally said it.

  


“So the others are straight?” asks Yukhei, how shallow of him. He really doesn’t want to consider the possibility of Kun being straight.

  


“Kunhang and Yangyang are for sure,” Sicheng counts on his fingers. “You already know Ten. I simply don’t care about gender and Kun… well, he’s a wild card. If you asked me, I would tell you he’s anything but straight. But you see, none of them care.”

  


Yukhei _hates_ how happiness blooms inside his chest. “Good, but that’s not why I want to hide it… It would make stuff really awkward between everyone. Like, you can’t just go around knowing your friend cheated on his ex that is now also your friend. I don’t want that.”

  


Sicheng thinks for a moment, inhaling from his cigarette. “I understand. You can trust me with your secret.”

  


“Thank you, Sicheng.” Yukhei smiles warmly and gives Sicheng’s arm a light squeeze.

  


“But,” Sicheng continues as smoke leaves his lips. “You should talk to Ten about it. He seemed like there’s something he wants to say.”

  


“No offense but I can’t even stand seeing his face.” Yukhei shakes his head. “Not gonna lie, I probably won’t.”

  


“At least you’re honest… I could tell if you lied.” Sicheng chuckles. “How are you going to stand being in his class, then? He’ll be substituting for a month.”

  


Yukhei once again almost falls- what’s with his legs? “A _month_?! The hell?”

  


Sicheng pats his back. “Sorry, buddy.”

  


It really would be a great solution if a comet could come and hit Yukhei right there. _Dinosaurs, I know the feeling now._

  


X

  


Yukhei really, _really_ dislikes libraries.

  


For one, it’s not like him at all to enjoy being at a quiet place for a long period of time. Yukhei has a clear preference for having sounds in the background while he works, he always keeps the TV open at the dorms when he studies even though it irks Renjun. Yukhei gets distracted worse when it’s completely quiet.

  


He _is_ at the library now, all because Yukhei is too good of a friend that can’t simply say no to Renjun. To cope with the overwhelming silence that falls on them like damp soil, Yukhei has his earbuds pushed deep in. Embarrassing enough, he’s listening to a cover of Kun’s with Xiaojun –who Yukhei also got to meet a few days- going along with his guitar. What can Yukhei say, Kun has an amazing calming voice… and Yukhei _is_ kind of whipped.

  


Yes, he came to terms with the fact that he likes Kun.

  


It’s awkward, to say the least, to be hanging out with Kun and have Ten there too. Yukhei does his best to ignore it but he notices Ten’s gaze on himself when he smiles at Kun for too long. It’s worse when he’s in Statistics and he can’t avoid Ten’s eyes lingering on him for longer than necessary. It’s awkward, and Yukhei hates to feel guilt mixed with something else he can’t quite name coiling itself in his stomach.

  


Yukhei nibbles on the back of his pen, knitting his brows together as he tries to focus. It takes a good two minutes for him to give up and rest back on his chair, eyes shifting to the boy across him. Renjun has a hand tangled into his caramel bangs to keep them away from his face, and his forehead is creased like Yukhei always teases him about. _You’re going to look 50 by the end of your twenties if you keep doing that._

  


Renjun catches Yukhei’s gaze soon. “We’re supposed to be studying.”

  


“I know,” Yukhei whines. “I told you I can’t study at libraries.”

  


“Should we go back, then?” Renjun runs his fingers down his textbook that contains too many terms in Latin for Yukhei to not have a headache reading. He’s a Biology major, so it makes sense- but Renjun is also double majoring with his second one being Computer Science, same as Yukhei. That’s why Yukhei admires Renjun so much, he can barely handle Computer Science himself and Renjun is doing a whole other one with it. It’s impressive.

  


Yukhei sticks his lower lip out, considering. “I don’t wanna go back just yet… we always do what _I_ want. We should do what you wanted for once.”

  


“Xuxi,” Renjun sighs as he slaps his forehead. “It’s not _that_ deep. Plus, you always wait for me when I spend two hours at a bookstore. It’s fair, you know?”

  


“C’mon,” Yukhei chuckles, already feeling better. “Remember when you read the entirety of Civil War at the comic store and a worker had to come kick you out?”

  


“Not my fault that comics are hella expensive and I needed to know if Captain America died,” says Renjun with a grin.

  


Yukhei laughs too. “You little rebel.”

  


Renjun’s sitting with his back towards the entrance so Yukhei can see whoever comes in when he looks at Renjun, considering how tiny of a frame Renjun owns it’s easy. That odd feeling comes back as soon as Yukhei noticed the familiar male, sinking in his chair to be as invisible as possible. It’s dumb, though. Yukhei is too big to go unnoticed, especially next to Renjun.

  


“What’s wrong?” Renjun asks with his smile fading once he notices the horror in Yukhei’s eyes. “Xuxi?”

  


Even the name makes Yukhei feel worse. “He’s… here.”

  


Renjun’s expression morphs into anger so fast that it’s scary. “Is this where I kick his balls for hurting my best friend?”

  


“Probably not in a public space, Ant Man.” Yukhei’s face goes awry.

  


“You’re no fun.” Renjun crosses his arms. “Why is he here, though? There must be something important. If he comes to talk then you should definitely listen.”

  


“I don’t want to.” Yukhei knows he’s acting childish, but he’s way past the point where he thought he should take the higher road.

  


Renjun glares at him, opening his mouth but Ten is at their table before he can speak.

  


Yukhei’s heart does a little flip. He doesn’t remember seeing Ten like this –not during these few weeks, at least-, with a casual outfit and his raven hair all messed up, glasses on the tip of his nose. And he’s wearing all his piercings too, exactly 11 ones as Yukhei knows by heart. Ten hasn’t changed the slightest ever since high school, maybe just grew, but… that’s _his_ Ten right here, the one who took Yukhei to eat ice cream at 2 a.m., then to graffiti their asshole of a math teacher’s car.

  


“Hey,” Ten clears his throat uneasily, nodding at Renjun who does it right back as a greeting. “Yukhei, do you have a minute?”

  


_To talk about our lord and saviour- okay Xuxi, this ain’t the time._ “For what, exactly?”

  


Renjun kicks Yukhei’s calf under the table and Yukhei _can’t_ keep a straight face.

  


Ten doesn’t comment on it. “To… talk. There are a few things we should settle.”

  


_There’s nothing to talk._ That’s what Yukhei would say if it wasn’t for Renjun glaring daggers into him across the table. “Fine. Make it quick, though, I have to study.”

  


“Maybe, outside?” Ten asks, gaze shifting to Renjun momentarily.

  


Yukhei pushes his chair back slowly and it makes an awful creak. He doesn’t mind that, just stands up grabbing his jacket. “Fine.”

  


Not waiting for Ten, Yukhei heads out of the building with his long steps. A small grass area with benches lined up the pavements surrounds the library, so Yukhei makes a go for the closest one, sitting down in an instant. It takes a moment for Ten’s shorter frame to arrive.

  


Ten keeps quiet as he sits down next to Yukhei and leaves a proper amount of space.

  


“So?” Yukhei leans his elbows on his knees, gazing forward.

  


Ten clears his throat. “I’ve been trying to catch you somewhere but you keep running away.”

  


Yukhei blows air out of his nose. “Isn’t it kinda obvious why? Of course I avoided you.”

  


“ _I_ didn’t avoid you while I thought you were the one who cheated,” Ten bawled, spinning towards Yukhei like a whip.

  


Hold up. Hold fucking up.

  


“What- _what?_ ” Yukhei’s eyes widen as it hits him. He meets Ten’s burning gaze, breathing sharply. “Ten, what did you just…?”

  


“Yeah.” The laugh Ten lets out is not out of happiness. “Someone fucking played with us. I don’t know why, I don’t understand why, but someone did.”

  


Yukhei’s brain is short circuiting. “So… I don’t understand. Someone told you I was cheating on you?”

  


“Pretty much.” Ten balls his hand into a fist. “I got an image of ‘you’ with another guy- and let me guess, you got me with a girl. I can guess where that picture came from. Either way, before I could say anything to you I got the message from you saying you want to break up and I immediately assumed it was because of that guy you ‘cheated’ on me with, so I went with it. I’ll show you my old texts if you still don’t believe me. God, how _much_ do I wish I spoke up. We would’ve… we would…”

  


Yukhei ignores the last part. “I thought you had nothing against it because you were already with someone else.” _And it hurt. It hurt so much when you just said ‘fine, it’s over then’ when I said it. You can’t even begin to guess._

  


“We’re both fucking idiots, aren’t we?” Ten drops his head low, shoulders shaking with laughter that sounds more like sobbing.

  


He should comfort Ten, right? Yukhei does want to, his arm twitches to wrap around Ten’s smaller shoulders and pull him close into a hug. Yukhei wants to kiss Ten’s hair again like he always used to do, and tell him that it’s fine. That everything’s going to be fine- they, are going to be fine.

  


He can’t. Invisible bounds are holding Yukhei back or at least that’s what it seems like. The truth is that Yukhei can’t trust Ten again, even if everything was a lie. That whole thing has hurt Yukhei too much for him to throw everything out of the window and blindly go back to Ten. Yukhei wants to, he wants it _so_ bad but he can’t.

  


When Yukhei finally sighs it feels as if centuries passed. “Well… I’m glad to have learned this.”

  


“It changes everything.” Ten shakes his head, swallowing thickly.

  


“No,” Yukhei whispers. “It doesn’t.”

  


Ten’s lips tremble parted. “What..? Xuxi, you know what this means- I _never_ cheated on you, I never would. You can come back to me, we can start again. You can trust me.”

  


“That’s the thing, I can’t.” It shouldn’t be so hard to say but it is. “You –or whoever that decided to break us up- hurt me too much for me to just erase it all.”

  


“I never stopped loving you,” is what that comes out of Ten’s mouth so weak. “I couldn’t forget you, Xuxi, I swear I tried so much… you never left my mind. When I transferred back here to finish my PhD, someone had told me you were here… you have no idea how much I looked for you everywhere. When I saw you in class… I swear, I swear I barely kept myself from throwing myself to your arms right away.”

  


Yukhei’s eyes are burning wet now, with a knot in his throat to go along. _Don’t make this harder than it should be._ “I did. I couldn’t forget you either, but I’m over it. We aren’t a thing anymore, Ten. We _won’t_ be. We shared nice things, but it’s in the past.”

  


“There’s someone else, right?” Ten smiles sadly. “I already know who… I understand, though. He’s better than me for you.”

  


Yukhei wants to agree that there indeed is someone, but his mouth seems to have a mind on its own. “There isn’t anyone else. I’m just not interested in a relationship.”

  


Ten seems relieved in an odd way. “Alright… just- just be happy, okay? You deserve it.”

  


Yukhei has to leave. He has to before he shows too much emotion. “You too.”

  


A single tear drops itself onto the ground from Yukhei’s cheek as he walks back into the library, heart crushing under a million tons of weight.

  


If there’s one thing harder to handle than having your ex around, it’s having your ex in a love triangle with you.

  


Yukhei isn’t proud of where things ended up at but here he is, with his crush on Kun and unexplainable feelings for Ten, all while Kun and Ten walk around like they’re the hottest couple around the campus. Yangyang one day even admitted that he and Xiaojun secretly have a bet that they’re in fact dating and hiding it, it’s Kunhang who disagrees. Yangyang seemed to be sure Kunhang owed them a few bucks and was so thrilled about it that all Yukhei was able to do was forcing a laughter out loose.

  


Kun walks around the campus with his hand in Ten’s, Ten has Kun’s number saved with a bunch of hearts and they argue like a wed couple of forty years. Isn’t it obvious there’s something between them? Yukhei seems to think so, at least.

  


The thing that cuts Yukhei’s heart into a million little pieces is how Ten said he couldn’t forget Yukhei, how he still misses Yukhei but he’s also still out here doing this. Yukhei shouldn’t be so hurt over Ten, that’s for sure, but he _is_. Ten is probably doing this, being all close to Kun, just to hurt Yukhei further– one, Yukhei likes Kun and two, he hates seeing Ten with someone else. No idea why he does.

  


And Yukhei is pretty positive that Kun shares his feelings. It’s been what, three months? And Kun shows so much care for Yukhei that it can’t be simply redeemed to friendship. It’s different than how Kun treats, let’s say Sicheng- with Yukhei, Kun greets by a tight hug but Sicheng gets a brief nod. They’re childhood friends and Sicheng isn’t the biggest on skinship, Yukhei still finds it odd regardless. Other three boys get more than Sicheng but less than Yukhei.

  


Yukhei wonders if Rainbow V’s 96 gets an even different treatment.

  


Three months of constantly reminding the boys that Yukhei is a huge fan of them and supports them with anything, and Yukhei knows still a fair amount of nothing when it gets to the certain dancer. The other six pretend to not hear when Yukhei asks, only Sicheng simply mentioned that 96 values his privacy and that they all promised not to say anything about him unless he permits it. So far, they lack the permission. Yukhei gave up at a point but curiosity still walks under his skin whenever he pulls the blanket over his head at late night, phone a few inches away from his face to watch one of his videos for god knows how many times.

  


It _will_ be pretty awkward once Yukhei meets him and has to admit how obsessed he is, but Yukhei’s willing to find a solution to that later.

  


“Have you heard from Ten recently?” falls out of Yukhei’s numb, purplish lips one day he’s walking towards Vision with Sicheng and his damn cigarette close to his side, avoiding the smoke with all his reflexes. The wind makes it quite the harder.

  


Yukhei hasn’t seen Ten around in the campus during the last couple of weeks, neither has he when he went out with the others or Renjun. Obviously Yukhei doesn’t have Ten’s number or the will to message him, and he’s barely gathered the courage to ask someone- that someone being Sicheng who knows their entire story.

  


Sicheng nods once he stops grimacing at the Christmas decorations that cover all stores and are, as he claims, purely made for marketing strategies of the capitalists and not for actual holiday spirit. “Yeah. He broke his leg.”

  


“ _What?_ ” The way Sicheng says it so casual doesn’t make Yukhei feel less worried, either. “How did he…?”

  


There comes Sicheng’s grimace back. “Ugh, I shouldn’t be telling you this… he’s going to kill me once he learns.”

  


Yukhei’s more confused now as if it’s possible. “I got not a single damn idea what you mean, Sicheng.”

  


“I promised not to tell!” Sicheng averts his gaze up to the sky as if he’s asking _god, why me_. “Ugh, fuck this. You deserve to know- I don’t _care_ if he decides to murder me later.”

  


“Unless Ten is hiding his Iron Man alter ego,” Yukhei raises his brow as he combs his messed up hair back. “I don’t think there’s anything to worry that much about.”

  


Sicheng rolls his eyes at Yukhei fixing his glasses. “Ten isn’t _nearly_ smart enough to be Iron Man, you know that.”

  


Yukhei shrugs. “Can we go back to the subject, please?”

  


“Yeah, uh,” Sicheng wets his lips with the tip of his tongue. “I don’t think there’s a nice way to break it down that the guy you’re a fan of is your ex-boyfriend, so, uh, there we go.”

  


Yukhei falls over as he trips over his own feet, ‘error’ signs blinking in his eyes.

  


Sicheng reaches down in an instant, offering Yukhei a hand. “Oh hell, I knew that was too…”

  


“Forward?” Yukhei gulps, pushing himself up to his feet without Sicheng’s help. “It was.”

  


“So it’s…” _How the hell?_ “96 is… Ten?”

  


A nod is what Sicheng gives as an answer until they’re walking again once Yukhei fixes his outfit. “It’s his birth year. I told him it was obvious, but he said it wouldn’t be really noticeable.”

  


“Yeah. He started school one year late, so everyone thought he was born in 1997 instead. It must be the same still.” Yukhei finds it impressive that he can speak about Ten without it feeling like ulcer in his stomach.

  


Sicheng inhales from the roll between his fingers. “Now that we’ve settled it, I guess I can tell you he broke his leg during practice and that’s why he’s absent.”

  


Yukhei winces to imagine. “It must suck.”

  


“It does,” says Sicheng in an odd tone, sparing Yukhei a short stare. “He lives alone in his apartment, so it’s worse. One of us usually stays with him when we can, right now he’s with Kunhang I think.”

  


Is Yukhei supposed to feel bad? If yes, he definitely does. “Well, it’s good that he isn’t alone then.”

  


Sicheng inclines with a move of his chin, saying nothing else.

  


Once they turn the corner that leads to Vision, Sicheng’s phone rings with his Bela Bartok ringtone – _not everyone can appreciate fine arts, Yukhei_ \- and it’s Dejun calling Sicheng over to discuss the montage of his latest video. Dejun’s major allows him to take care of this kind of stuff, so he’s their director in some sense. Sicheng doesn’t appreciate it as much though, now that he has to go back all the way to the campus.

  


Yukhei reassures him quick that it’s okay, he can just meet Kun there and Sicheng can join later. Sicheng seems sure he won’t be able to, but he still leaves soon- Yukhei’s more excited than he should be that he’ll be alone with Kun. _I’m seriously a terrible person, eh?_

  


Kun is typing something on his phone with his brows forming a line over his eyes when Yukhei comes to sit across him, but that expression soon enough leaves its place to a warm smile for Yukhei- it doesn’t reach Kun’s eyes. Yukhei sees it.

  


“Hey there.” Kun’s hand finds Yukhei’s one on the table, reaching to give it a small squeeze.

  


Odd enough, the gesture doesn’t make Yukhei feel anything. It’s supposed to send those damn butterflies if Yukhei truly likes Kun, isn’t it? The room is supposed to go hotter and Yukhei’s face must have blood rushing to it all over. It’s empty. There’s nothing.

  


Yukhei nods, a smile taking over his grim expression. “Hello.”

  


“Something’s clearly wrong.” Kun is quick to put his finger on the right spot. “And you’re not getting your chocolate mocha until you tell me what.”

  


“Bribing?” Yukhei quirks a brow. “It’ll work, but damn Kun.”

  


“I can be a bad boy when I want to.”

  


Yukhei chuckles. “If you weren’t wearing a pastel pink button down, I could have believed in that.”

  


“Touché.” Kun takes his hand away from Yukhei’s and Yukhei internally thanks it. “So. Telling me or not?”

  


“For a start,” Yukhei clears his throat, looking up and meeting Kun’s gaze. “I learned Ten broke his leg.”

  


“Oh, right, he-”

  


“-and that 96 is him.” It gets out colder than Yukhei wanted it to. “After all that long.”

  


Kun, taken aback, leans back in his chair. “Ah.”

  


Yukhei stays silent.

  


“Yukhei…”

  


“I don’t understand how you could- you all could- hide something like that from me, it’s huge.” Yukhei’s eyes burn wet, chest rising sharp. “I trusted you. I… I even…” _No, no, no, I shouldn’t say it, not now, not ever._

  


“You what, Yukhei?” Kun asks softly, tilting his head.

  


_I can’t. I don’t…_

  


Kun continues. “Don’t say you like me, because we both know that’s a lie you told to yourself.”

  


_What?_ “H-how…”

  


“Ten,” Kun says shortly. His face is impossible to get anything from. “Did you really think my best friend would hide anything from me? Especially if it’s this important?”

  


“I was about to blame Sicheng.” Yukhei shakes his head. He didn’t tell anything to Sicheng about his feelings for Kun but considering his Charles Xavier ass, Sicheng must know.

  


Kun dismisses it with a flick of his fingers. “Ten told me all your past. And I kind of put two and two together.”

  


It’s so hard for Yukhei to speak, but he digs his nails into his thigh and does it. “So you don’t?”

  


“I don’t like you that way,” Kun says simply, still smiling at Yukhei. “But _you_ don’t like me either.”

  


“What? No, I do.” _Or do I really?_

  


“You’ve been trying so hard to find someone to hold onto after Ten that you jumped onto the first train.” Kun’s words are true, they really are but Yukhei doesn’t want to hear it. “You still like him.”

  


Violently, Yukhei shakes his head. “I _don’t_ , I don’t! You can’t speak for me!”

  


“I can.” Kun rests his elbows on the table, glaring into Yukhei’s eyes. “I can when you’re refusing to accept the truth.”

  


Yukhei gives his weight backwards, pushing his chair back. “I think I’ve socialized enough for today.”

  


“At least promise me you’ll try,” Kun sighs. “I want you two to be happy, Yukhei- doing this only hurts you further. Please consider my words.”

  


Yukhei says nothing as he grabs the jacket he laid onto the back of his chair, putting it on with hurry and almost runs outside.

  


There’s no memory of the road back to campus. Considering how busy Yukhei’s been with school work and how he didn’t even notice that December came, it’s no surprise. It was only this morning that Yukhei realized it’s about to be _Christmas_ when Renjun asked him if they’ll be doing anything special for it. Yukhei has close to no idea about the world outside his little bubble of sadness and occasional laughter, recently at least.

 

Yukhei knows about twenty minutes have passed but he doesn’t know how he’s standing just out of the campus walls, on the road to the dormitory. He has no idea how he got there as if he blacked out as a whole on the way but no complaints either.

  


His phone rings then. Of course it’s him.

  


Yukhei exhales shakily as he accepts the call. “I told you I don’t-”

  


“Yukhei!” Kun sounds panicked, he breathes so fast with so much hurry that Yukhei’s stomach drops with ease. “Yukhei, thank god you picked it up…”

  


“What’s wrong?”

  


Kun mumbles by the other side of the line. “It’s Ten… He just messaged me saying he doesn’t feel okay, he’s sick and needs someone there. Everyone is either busy or too far away and I can’t go check on him either because I have to go back home but you live close enough… please, Yukhei?”

  


Yukhei chews on his lip, considering it.

  


Kun had a point earlier, didn’t he? Fuck it, he was right- Yukhei still loves Ten. He never stopped loving Ten at all and the only reason Yukhei’s been holding himself back is that he was childishly stubborn and he couldn’t trust Ten. Now, Yukhei has no reason at all. He wants Ten all safe and sound, preferably sleeping between his own arms.

  


Yukhei texts Renjun quickly to say he won’t be at the dorms for the night and begins walking to the address Kun sent, hurrying as much as he could dare. It feels as forever as he almost runs through the Christmas themed streets that are too joyful for Yukhei’s broken heart, heart thumping with worry to Ten’s apartment.

  


There’s no air in his lungs once Yukhei reaches the door, knocking on it. “Hello?”

  


“Door’s open,” says an exhausted voice that punches Yukhei in the guts.

  


He pushes the door open, locking it back with trembling hands, and heads to the living room. “Hey, Ten?”

  


There he is on the couch with a blanket draped over his legs. _God, he’s…_ Ten’s lashes are spread over his cheekbones and his brows knit together tight with a few drops of sweat glistening on top of them. One arm shields his eyes from the light, curled next to his head.

  


Yukhei bites his lip as he drags his feet towards the couch, sitting next to Ten’s legs. “You alright?”

  


Ten opens one eye in a slit, a weak smile playing around on the corners of his lips. “Now I know I have too high fever… I’m hallucinating. I had this dream hundreds of times but none was this real.”

  


“No,” Yukhei mumbles, hand reaching to caress Ten’s cheek featherly. “I’m right here.”

  


Ten leans his head to Yukhei’s touch and god, his skin is _burning_. “Are you… are you here?”

  


“I’m here.” Yukhei can’t cry now. He shouldn’t, for Ten’s sake at least. “I’m real, Tennie. I’m real and I’m right here.”

  


“Xuxi,” Ten sobs, a pained chuckle escaping his mouth. “You came…”

  


“I was tired of running.” Yukhei takes a deep breath to be able to speak. “Tired of denying my heart. So… I’m here and I’m not going away even if you decide to kick me outside tomorrow morning.”

  


“I won’t.” Ten’s lips brush against Yukhei’s palm, leaving a burning spot behind and an electric shock down Yukhei’s spine. “I missed you _so_ much.”

  


Yukhei nods. He wants to crawl there next to Ten and trap him between his arms, then don’t let go for the next days but priorities are there. “Good, but we can catch up later- I need to make sure you’re fine first.”

  


“Of course,” Ten whispers playfully, giving a crooked smile. “My protective baby.”

  


Yukhei presses his hand against Ten’s forehead and that least is enough for him to be able to tell that Ten definitely needs something for his fever. His mind storms, seeking the answer until Yukhei gives up on his knowledge about health –he _should_ have listened to Renjun more- and decides to do the best he can.

  


“Alright, let me carry you to your bed?” It’s a question but Ten doesn’t have nearly enough strength to answer or resist it.

  


Gentle, Yukhei wraps his arm around Ten’s waist and sneaks the other under his knees once he pushes the blanket away. Ten always looks so small when he’s in Yukhei’s arms and _god,_ Yukhei’s missed it so much. He loves it.

  


Ten quietly directs Yukhei to his bedroom and holds tight onto his shirt as Yukhei lets him onto the bed. It’s a bed for two which Yukhei considers to be odd for someone as small as Ten who lives alone, but he’s not going to question that now.

  


“You gotta take off your clothes,” Yukhei says with a tint of embarrassment covering his cheeks red. “I’ll go get some meds, but seriously. At least your shirt.”

  


It takes Yukhei ten minutes in the bathroom –the very messy even in Ten standards bathroom- to be able to find a goddamn Tylenol. The possibility of not having any kind of medicine at the house made Yukhei’s stomach pit but it was all just useless worries. Ten can’t be that irresponsible. _He was the one who drank a week old milk for a bet claiming his stomach was strong but then had to lie down sick for an entire day, though._

  


Yukhei has to use every inch of his will to not feel _anything_ when he comes back to a very half naked Ten waiting for him on the bed, legs curled under him and smiling at Yukhei with love engraved on every inch of his face.

  


Ten takes the Tylenol with no complaints, grinning. “You’re staring.”

  


He is. Ten is beautiful and Yukhei hates himself for being this way when Ten is sick which is the only reason he’s half naked, but _damn it_ Yukhei can’t control himself. “Sorry.”

  


“What does… this mean for us?” Ten asks after a moment of awkward silence once he’s taken the pill and is resting against the headboard. “I mean…”

  


“I like you as much as I did back in high school,” Yukhei admits in one breath. “I do. But… I don’t want to straight up go back to dating.”

  


Ten nods, eyes full of thoughts Yukhei can’t decipher. “I understand. All that stuff broke your trust- just as much as it did to me but I’m willing to build it all the way over again. I wanna try… I care too much to give up this easily. Just… for you.”

  


Yukhei can’t help but smile. “Thank you.”

  


“All I want is for us to be happy again,” rolls from Ten’s lips as a whisper.

  


“Yes, but _I_ all want right now is for you to rest.” Yukhei quirks a brow, pointing at the bed with his eyes. “Chop chop, get there and sleep.”

  


Ten does slide in, pushing the blankets off no matter how much he’s shivering from his fever. “Will you stay?”  


It comes naturally. “Of course,” Yukhei should learn how to control his mouth probably. “You’d do something stupid until I got back.”

 

“How can I?” Ten smiles wider. “You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Yukhei rolls his eyes, sighing deep. “Alright Captain America, you can sass me some other time. I’ll knock you out asleep if you don’t shut up.”

 

Ten pokes Yukhei’s cheek as his ringing laughter echoes in the room, sliding aside to leave Yukhei enough space.  


A moment later Yukhei is laying on his side, head resting on his curled arm, watching over how Ten is sleeping like the creep he is- but Ten is simply so _beautiful_ , Yukhei of course is going to stare whenever he can. Especially it’s when Ten can’t see it. Yukhei has about a good five years to make up for, after all.

  


Exhaustion begins pulling at Yukhei’s eyelids soon enough, though. He gives up on trying to stay awake because Ten is already asleep, why should he?

  


A clock goes off at the other side of the room implying that it’s midnight right when Yukhei’s about to drift into sleep. He swears quietly since it probably woke Ten up too, until he remembers what it means. _25th of December._

  


Ten seems to remember, too. His eyes open just so slight, smile appearing again. “Merry Christmas.”

  


“Merry Christmas,” whispers Yukhei as Ten reaches to press their lips flush together for the first time after years.

 

 

 

 

 

“I _knew_ it!” Yangyang laughs in victory, punching the air as Kunhang tugs on his sleeve to bring him to sit down again. “Dejun owes me fifty bucks now, hah!”

 

Yukhei squeezes Ten’s hand under the table as Ten leans his head onto Yukhei’s shoulder, both sighing. “This was a mistake,” Yukhei whispers.

 

Sicheng gives them a brief nod across the table to show support, only for it to break into a grin as his gaze shifts to something over them.

 

Once Yukhei looks up, he regrets ever telling the other guys that they’re back. Because it’s Kun behind them, holding a mistletoe over their heads with a mischievous smirk. “Merry Christmas!”

 

Ten winks as he leans in to kiss Yukhei again. Yukhei closes his eyes in embarrassment, face burning red but still with those butterflies in his stomach. _I could get used to this._

 

Yukhei takes it back once he hears the soft _click_ of a photo getting taken. “ _Yangyang_!”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> wink if you caught the marvel references ;;
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated ♡
> 
> ┆  ▸ [**tumblr**](https://solaregf.tumblr.com)   ▸ [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/solaregf)   ▸ [**curiouscat**](https://curiouscat.me/solaregf)


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